Little Bit Longer
by A Song in the Dark
Summary: Ch7 6mths later Arthur is fighting in a war for Camelot and merlin suddenly arrives for no reason; because merlin knows that when the sun rises tomorrow: it will be the last sun rise Arthur will see. Warning: character death
1. Knocking the fist domino

'I'm so glad you're home; even if it's just for a day it's worth it,' Hunith said quietly, with an affectionate smile playing about her lips.

'I'm glad you you're happy I'm here, because I couldn't afford a present,' Merlin mumbled from his make-shift bed on the floor.

'Where did Prince Arthur go?' his mother asked, suddenly curious.

'Probably found his reflection in a puddle and can't draw himself away. He'll be here soon.'

'Why did you bring them all back here again?' Hunith asked.

'They all wanted to see you again, and wish you a happy birthday; they care about you Mother,'

'No,' she shook her head 'They care about you,'

'Goodnight Mother,' Merlin smiled, firmly closing the door on that conversation. He rolled over and found a comfortable spot to rest his head, within minutes he was fast asleep, his eyes gently closed and his lips slightly pouting. He didn't hear Arthur enter and slip into the bed next to his; he didn't even hear Hunith saying good night to the girls, Morgana next door and Gwen next door on the other side. Merlin couldn't hear anything when he was asleep; he was a very deep sleeper.

'Merlin! Merlin wake up! Wake up now!' a voice hissed in his ear. Merlin rolled over and put his arms over his head, trying to block out the voice trying to wake him. But the voice was soon joined by a cold hand on the shoulder and a vigorous shake. 'Merlin for God's sake WAKE UP!' Arthur shouted, his voice was panicked and scared. It was the tone of the voice that got Merlin on his feet far more than the cold hand and the shake. Arthur was standing in the middle of the small room, his eyes fixed on the door. Merlin turned and looked as well and let out a gasp.

Flames.

Red, orangey, yellowish flames licked at the door and danced around it. Thick black smoke was seeping into the room followed by a wave of heat you would only expect from a furnace.

Thoughts were racing through Merlin's mind like horses in a race and chasing each other like cats chase mice. He had to protect Arthur, he had to get Arthur out of there before anything else; but he couldn't let Gwen, Morgana, or his mother die. He turned to Arthur, looking very serious; 'You, go out the back way, get Morgana and my Mother and take them out and away. I'll get Gwen. Arthur went out of the door away from the fire and Merlin turned to door which was almost completely charred black.

All the villagers were lined up, about two hundred yards from the fire, waiting and looking. Everybody was there except Merlin and Gwen. Suddenly a small figure came running out of the flames, just one. Everybody looked on anxiously as the figure buckled over and coughed. Hunith recognised the figure first.

She ran forward at the figure and put her arm around it. They spoke for a few moments, the figure gesticulating and pointing first towards the fire and then to the villagers. Hunith shook her head and pushed the figure off in the direction of the villagers. As it got nearer everybody could discern through the darkness that it was Merlin. He was still coughing heavily from the smoke on his lungs. Nobody had noticed Hunith until Merlin turned round to her but found she wasn't there. She was heading into the burning building. 'Mother!' Merlin called out but Arthur put an arm in front of him and stopping him from getting any closer.

'She'll be out in a moment,' Arthur said confidently but inside he was tied in knots. 'Did you find Gwen?'

Merlin nodded. 'She was in her room, she's afraid of fire, terrified. Her mother died in a fire at their home when she was younger, the one thing she's afraid of is fire and how she had to run through it and leave her mother behind.'

'Why did she have to leave her mother?' Arthur asked.

'Gwen had a little brother, only a baby. Gwen's mother went to save him but they both burned.'

'How do you know this?' Arthur asked, trying to make the conversation last as long as possible while Merlin was distracted.

'She told me. We were talking one day, not long after we were here before and Gwen was saying how kind my mother was. Then she told me about her mother; Emma'

Suddenly, one figure came out again. Nobody could make out whether it was Gwen or Hunith but Merlin already knew. It was Gwen. He, Arthur and Morgana ran over to meet her. 'Where's my mother?' Where is she?' Merlin asked desperately. Gwen was shaking, and she was crying. 'Merlin, I'm so sorry.'

'What…what happened?' he asked, shakily.

'We were nearly out but…but the smoke got too much for her, she couldn't breathe enough and she collapsed. I tried to bring her out with me. I tried but, Merlin, I'm so sorry.' She was talking in gasps of fresh air now, 'She wasn't breathing. Her eyes were glassy. I only had enough time to-' but Merlin wasn't listening to any more. He ran towards the burning building, desperate to get his Mother out of there.

'Mother!' he shouted as if his voice could wake her. Suddenly there was a strong arm around him, stopping him in his tracks.

'There's no point Merlin. It's too late.' The voice said quietly. Merlin struggled but it was like swimming against the tide, you take one step forward and two steps back.

'Let me go,' he muttered, dangerously. 'Arthur, let me go.'

'Not on your life,'

'Yes on my life, because if my Mother is not alive any more then why the hell should I be?'

'Shh,' Arthur kept a tight hold on Merlin's body and turned him round so they were face to face.

Merlin could see the light of the fire flickering in Arthur's eyes and turned round to look at it but Arthur kept a finger on his cheek, making sure he didn't see the fire. 'Merlin, This is your village, everybody in this place is old, they are looking to you for strength here. Now pull yourself together. You can grieve in private, later.'

A black cloud hung over the small village, the weather was beautiful with glorious sunshine but nobody in the village could feel its warmth. Merlin, Gwen, Arthur and Morgana all stayed in the village to help with the rebuilding but soon it was time for them to leave. They packed up everything that hadn't been destroyed in the blaze and Merlin and Gwen brought the four horses out of their stables. Merlin held the head of Arthur's magnificent, elegant horse, He took note of the perfect drop of the nose and curve of the neck, the long, athletic legs, perfect for jumping and the shiny, mahogany coat. Arthur was busy tightening the girth and pulling the stirrup down to mount, he glanced over at Merlin as they were both squinting in the sunshine.

'You could stay you know, I won't blame you,'

Merlin didn't reply. He went round to the side Arthur didn't mount from and pulled down the stirrup leather. 'Ready when you are sire,' he said simply. Arthur put his foot in the stirrup and mounted. Merlin put all of his weight into the stirrup in his hand so the saddle wouldn't slip and then helped Arthur to tighten the girth again.

Arthur finally got the answer to his suggestion when Merlin mounted his own horse in front of Arthur and looked at him defiantly. Merlin walked round in a circle to stand next to Arthur. He looked down at his horse, so much different from Arthur's. Arthur's horse, Quest, was tall and elegant, he cast a striking silhouette and always did as he was asked.

Merlin's horse, Ebony, was completely black except for the white blaze down its face. She was shorter and bulkier than Quest, and didn't look half so striking. She was awkward and volatile and enjoyed switching from a dull, lifeless walk to a speeding trot, so fast Merlin couldn't keep rising in the saddle. However, Merlin loved Ebony and called her Eb for short. He knew she was a pain some of the time but he didn't care, however annoyed he got with her, at the end of the day he would always find five minutes to bring her a carrot or an apple from the castle kitchens and give her a stroke.

As the four of them, Arthur, Merlin, Morgana and Gwen rode off they looked very odd. Two tall horses for Arthur and Morgana and two shorter, stockier horses for Merlin and Gwen, and together they made their way back to Camelot. They thought the worst was over but they had no idea.


	2. Consultation

Gaius was worried. A week ago, Merlin, Arthur, Gwen and Morgana had returned from their trip, all of them looking rather downcast. Merlin was the worst. He had maintained a silence so dense and cold that it seemed permanent; he had also not eaten anything since his return, which was taking its toll. Merlin would get up in the morning, wash and dress and then leave to begin his duties. He did Arthur's bidding all day, not saying a word and then he would return to his room. One night, a week after Merlin's return, Gaius crept up to Merlin's door and looked around it. Merlin was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling; he didn't react to Gaius' presence at all.

The next day, while Merlin was taking Arthur's dirty clothes down to the basement to be washed, Gaius knocked on Arthur's door. 'Sire?'

'What is it Gaius?'

'It's Merlin,' Gaius replied. Arthur stopped reading the parchment in front of him and looked up.

'You've noticed it too then?'

'Well, it's hard to notice it sire, he hasn't spoken in a week.'

'I know,' Arthur sighed, leaning his head on his hand 'I've tried speaking to him, I've tried teasing him, I've tried anything to get any type of reaction to him. But he just stays silent, not a word.'

'He's not eating either,'

'Isn't he?' Arthur shook his head 'I knew he was bad, but I had no idea. I thought he looked paler though, and thinner,'

'Do you have any idea why?'

'He hasn't told you?' Arthur asked, incredulous.

'Well, like I said Sire,' Gaius inclined his head 'he hasn't said a word,'

There was a pause, Arthur took a deep breath; 'His mother died while we were there. Half the village burnt down, we couldn't do anything for her. We stayed to help rebuild the village and I told Merlin he could stay. I told him he could stay with his village but he chose to come back,'

'Oh, poor Hunith,' Gaius said in shock.

'Poor Merlin.' Arthur corrected 'He's the one who has to live through this,'

'Sire, if there is anything that you can do to lift him out of this then I beg you to do it,' Gaius said, seriously.

'I will do,' Arthur nodded. Suddenly, they could hear footsteps on the stairs, 'That will be Merlin,'

Gaius turned to leave, 'Thank you sire,' Gaius left, letting the door bang behind him and returning to his chambers. He frowned to himself thinking. He knew of no medicine to help Merlin, and medicine was all that Gaius knew


	3. A Mute No More

The door closed behind Merlin as he came back up to Arthur's chambers. Arthur looked up; now that Gaius had told him that Merlin wasn't eating it was obvious. He was beyond pale, his skin was so white it was almost translucent. His eyes were a little glazed over from lack of sleep and his cheeks were so hollow that his bones protruded. There were dark shadows under his eyes that looked like bruises from lack of sleep.

'Merlin' Arthur said, setting down his parchment, Merlin looked up but still he didn't say a word. 'I want you to set up a bed in here,' the old Merlin would have frowned, then probably smiled, then asked if it was for a maid or a knight. Then he would have got a slap. But this new, sad Merlin just nodded and left to get everything sorted.

Arthur picked up his parchment again, but after all that had happened with Gaius, and then thinking of any way to help Merlin, he had forgotten what it was that he had been reading. He had only just got back to where he was before Gaius came in when his father entered without knocking.

'Arthur, what is all this about a second bed in your chambers? Is there something you need to tell me?'

'For goodness sake! I'm never going to finish this am I? I may as well not try!' He slammed the parchment back down on the table for the third time in an hour.

'That is no way to talk to your father or the king I'll have you know,' Uther reprimanded. 'Now, why are you putting another bed in here?'

'It's really not as bad as you are suggesting,' Arthur said.

'I don't care, I want to know,'

'Look, since we came back Merlin has been acting strangely. I'm worried about him, Gaius is worried about him and I thought that he could spend a night or two in here where I could keep an eye on him. It would do him good and it would give me peace of mind. '

'I don't approve of this Arthur,' Uther said, shaking his head.

'But this is one of the few things I insist on, Ask Morgana, ask her servant Gwen, they are all saying the same thing; Merlin needs help and I am trying to help him,'

'Fine, but it will end badly,' Uther sighed, walking out of the door.

Later that night, Arthur was walking up to his chambers, in need of some sleep. Merlin followed him half of the way and then turned down the corridor to his room. 'Merlin,' Merlin doubled back 'Merlin that extra bed in my chambers is for you. I want you to sleep in there tonight.'

Merlin frowned slightly, then nodded and followed Arthur up to his chambers. Arthur stripped down to his pants and got into bed. Merlin got undressed and slipped into his own bed, blowing out his candle and lying down. 'Good night Merlin,' Arthur said quietly. Merlin still said nothing.

Arthur left his candle still glowing and he lay there, thinking. It took about half an hour of Arthur turning over and over in his bed and trying to think of something anything to say, but he couldn't get comfortable and he felt so awkward knowing that Merlin was awake and listening to every thing he did.

Eventually, after one of the loudest silences of his life, he sat up suddenly. 'Alright Merlin!' he shouted, leaping out of bed and lighting the candles all round the room. 'I am not going to have a manservant that is a mute. Get up now!' there was no reaction to this. 'Merlin, you are going to look at me, smile, talk to me and eat something before we have a proper nights sleep. And that is an order' there was still no sign of a response 'Merlin look at me. Look at me!' he shouted. But then Merlin did look at him, and Arthur's voice faltered and he became so quiet his words were almost unintelligible. 'M…Merlin? Oh God I'm sorry,'

Merlin sat up and looked at Arthur, but in no way he had ever looked at Arthur before. There were tears in his eyes and tracks down his cheeks, but he was somehow smiling. 'You want me to talk to you, to smile, to eat? Ha! You have no idea what I'm going through,'

'I think you're forgetting, I've lost my mother too, you are not the only one,'

Merlin jumped out of bed, 'Yes Arthur. Yes, you lost your mother, but you hadn't been in the world for even a week when your mother died. You didn't even know her. My mother has been my only friend for most of my life and she spent the end of it lonely because I wasn't there with her. You want me to talk to you,' he was getting louder and louder. Now he had found his voice there was no way of stopping it from letting all of its poison loose 'What! What do you want me to say? What is there to say? Do you want me to continue talking to you about girls and fighting and tournaments? I'm done with that! I'm doing it any more, I'm not going to fill my life with your stupid, pretentious, trivial nonsense!'

Arthur was stunned, for probably the first time in his life, he was lost for words. Merlin also seemed to have run out of steam. He sat down heavily in a chair by the dying embers of the fire; Arthur moved over to him and touched his arm. Merlin looked up and sighed, it didn't seem as if Merlin was going to let rip again.

'My mother always used to say that I was growing up fast, every time she saw me she would say I had changed, that I was becoming a man. But she was wrong. And for years I believed her; I believed that I was grown up, strong, free, and independent. But we never really grow up. While our parents are still alive we are always children; just kids who are afraid of the dark and worry about silly things and panic when something goes wrong. But when your last parent dies, well, you stop being a child…' he tailed off.

Arthur had sat down in the chair opposite Merlin, he was leaning forward and listening intently.

'You know what the worst part was? We couldn't even give her a funeral. There was no body to bury.' Silent tears were coming again now.

'I can't say that I know how you feel, but I can help. If you want?' Arthur offered.

Merlin gave a small smile. ''Thanks. I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep for at least another few days but, can I lie with you? I just want to feel someone next to me,'

Arthur was quiet for a minute; 'Is that all?' he asked, finally. 'There's nothing wrong with that,' he said, getting up and moving over to Merlin's chair. Arthur took hold of Merlin's shoulders and looked him straight in the face, and then he grinned. 'Come on, it's late. Let's get some sleep; you need to be up early in the morning.'

So Merlin blew out all of the candles and they both got into Arthur's bed, where he lay on his side and felt Arthur's chest on his back, and Arthur's hand on his arm. He still didn't sleep, but he felt much better now that he had shouted and cried and got it all out of his system. And now he could try and make himself better.


	4. A Set Back

Arthur strode into Morgana's room, a swagger in his step. 'You wanted to see me?' he asked, simply.

'Yes, thanks for coming.' She sat down at the table 'I was just wondering how Merlin was doing and this seemed to be the only way to get you away from him in order to ask. He's been spending a lot of time with you; in fact, I haven't seen you out of his company for about a week,'

'That's because I haven't been out of his company for a week.'

'What? You haven't had a moment to yourself in a week?' she asked incredulously. 'How early does he arrive in the morning?'

Arthur sighed, 'he doesn't arrive early in the morning because he doesn't leave at night,'

It took Morgana three seconds to imagine the worst. 'Oh Arthur! How could you? To have it on with a servant is bad enough but Merlin is grieving! How could you take advantage of him like that; I thought you cared about him?' she stood up and moved over to the window. 'I am disappointed in you,'

'It's nothing like that, Arthur said calmly. 'He just doesn't want to be alone, I said he could sleep with me and he can sleep now. He talks and eats and smiles. It is hardly a sacrifice for me to sleep next to him and he's happy again,'

Morgana frowned and lines creased her forehead, 'Fine,' she conceded eventually. 'But, I'm trusting you Arthur, don't ruin this. I care about Merlin,'

Arthur stood up, suddenly riled 'And you think I don't?'

'No, I know you care about Merlin too, I just don't want you to ruin this,' she replied enigmatically. Arthur left Morgana's chambers with her final comment running round and round in his head; a continuous stream of words getting louder and louder, faster and faster until they all merged into one block of white noise and one word blasted out louder than the others. 'Merlin.'

Morgana, it seemed could see right into him and extract the thoughts and feelings he wasn't ready to accept himself. And she did it all in such a sweet manner that he never noticed until a long time afterwards; like right now when he was two flights of stairs and three corridors away from her.

When Arthur got back to his chambers he found Merlin making his bed and whistling, admittedly there was no tune to it but Arthur quite liked it all the same. 'Good morning Sire, and how was your visit to Morgana?'

'That is none of your business and how many times do I have to say it, Arthur is fine, I am sick of you calling me 'Sire', I don't call you 'Servant' do I?' he crumpled onto the just made bed with a crooked smile on his face.

'Fine,' Merlin shrugged. 'Good Morning Arthur,'

'Good Morning Merlin,' Arthur stretched so much that he could reach the headboard with his hands and the post at the end of the bed with his feet. 'The day may still be young but we have seen each other already this morning,'

'That doesn't stop it being a good morning though, does it?' Merlin asked as he moved over to Arthur's wardrobe and began organising Arthur's tunics and britches.

'I suppose not,' Arthur granted.

Later, during the afternoon, Arthur sent Merlin down to the kitchens for some water as the day was getting so hot. While Merlin was gone, Arthur stared out of the window. It struck him in these rare moments when Merlin disappeared to collect or fetch something that now he had let Merlin so completely into his life; it would feel quite empty and void-like when he was better and back in his own room. Suddenly, as he stood at the open window with the cool breeze dancing across his skin, there was a deep, swooping feeling in the pit of his stomach. His arms tensed up, his hands shaking and then his eyes rolled up into his head for a few seconds. When he returned to normality (which took a few moments as nothing like this had ever happened to him before) he heard screaming.

'Help! Help!' It was a girl, somewhere in this maze of a castle. 'Help! Please! Someone fetch Gaius quickly!'

Arthur hurried out of his chambers and towards the shouts as fast as possible. He followed the echoing shouts until he came to a flight of stairs with people gathered round asking questions. Gwen was there, she was the one who had screamed. Other servants were gathered in clumps. Some were crouched down, others talking behind protective hands. All of them were looking down at the floor.

'What has happened?' Arthur asked from the top of the stairs.

Gwen looked distraught with worry as she answered; 'He fell down the stairs sire, I'm sorry,'

'Who? Who fell down the stairs?' Arthur asked as he descended in order to get a closer look. His insides had turned to lead in the last few seconds as a small voice had crept into his head and hissed the name 'Merlin'. But it couldn't be Merlin, surely it couldn't be Merlin, all of these people wouldn't be here for a servant, surely.

As he reached the foot of the stairs, the people cleared a path for him, and sure enough, Merlin was lying on the hard stone floor, curled and shaking. Arthur fell to his knees beside him. Words seemed to fail the Prince for the first time in his life. He couldn't take his eyes off the blood seeping from Merlin's head. It soaked into his hair and clung to his skin like tar. Suddenly and noticeably, the shaking stopped.

At that moment, Morgana arrived, pushing through the crowd, Gaius right behind her. He knelt at Merlin's head and examined him carefully and gently. Merlin's eyes were shut, it was impossible for Arthur to determine if Merlin was unconscious or just scared to open his eyes and see the damage.

'He needs to be kept warm. He should be in bed.' Gaius muttered to himself.

Arthur seemed oblivious to the people stood all around him, intruding on this moment; but he heard Gaius and responded. 'I'll carry him,' He gathered his slight, limp manservant into his arms and began to climb the stairs. Gaius, Morgana and Gwen followed him up the stairs and along corridors. But instead of turning for Gaius' chambers, he took the route to his own. Silently and understandingly, they all followed him.

When Arthur reached his chambers he rested Merlin on the slightly rumpled bed that he had stretched out on earlier and tucked the duvet in around him. Gaius examined Merlin's head more closely now and then scurried off to begin mixing tonics. Morgana lifted Merlin up for a moment so Gwen could build a wall of pillows behind him. He was gently laid back down again. Arthur sat on the end of the bed; holding Merlin's cold hand in his and caressing the fingers like his touch alone could cure him.

After what felt like an age, Gaius returned with a tonic in a wooden bowl and a cloth. 'The head wound needs to be cleaned before I can do anything to it.' he murmured.

'I'll do it,' Arthur managed to say through a dry mouth.

Gaius nodded and started examining Merlin's arm which had been caught at an odd angle and his hands which had landed under him and been crushed. He also listened to Merlin's breathing before silently leaving the room and heading back to his chambers, worry shining out of his eyes like a beam. Gwen and Morgana left too, with whispered words and a meaningful look. That left Arthur and Merlin together. Arthur picked up the bowl of tonic and the cloth Gaius left behind. He silently moved up the bed so he was sat right beside Merlin; he was being as quiet and unobtrusive as possible so as not to disturb him, but despite this he really wanted Merlin to stir. But there was no reaction at all, no movement. Merlin was just lying there, his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open. Arthur wanted him to wake up, wanted to shake him into consciousness. Anything to stop him just lying there looking so feeble and weak.

Arthur gently pushed Merlin's hair off his face and sighed. He had to admit, he looked peaceful. He dipped the cloth into the tonic and began to dab at Merlin's forehead. Soon all the excess blood had gone and Arthur could clearly see the deep cut starting from Merlin's eyebrow and crookedly moving up and across his forehead and into his hair. It cut right across his head; from left to right. The contrast between his glowing pale skin and the deep red of the gash right through the middle was beautiful in a way.

Arthur dabbed at the cut again, gently and carefully; he pushed the blood soaked hair off Merlin's face and began again. He was compelled suddenly to keep dabbing again and again. He suddenly thought that if he could show all the determination of wanting to heal Merlin, of wanting him to get better, then maybe we would.

Merlin stayed in his unconscious state for the best part of three days. And through that time Arthur spent every waking moment doting on him, washing his face with a damp cloth and applying the tonic every day. And the rest of the time Arthur spent at Merlin's side, he read aloud to him. He knew that there was no way that Merlin could hear him but it was something to distract himself and it made him feel like he was contributing if only in a minor way.

On the evening of the third day, Arthur was finishing chapter twenty six of his book. He commented to Merlin as he turned the page, expecting, as usual, no reply. 'It all seems a bit melodramatic to me but I can't find anything else so we'll have to stick with it. What do you think?' he chuckled 'Who am I kidding, I'm wasting my time. Anyway, Chapter Twenty Seven-'

'No' came a mumble from over the bed. Arthur's head snapped up so sharply he might have done himself damage.

'What?' he whispered.

'No,' and this time Arthur definitely saw Merlin's lips move, then his eyes fluttered and blinked. Finally, Merlin opened his eyes and a warm, contagious smile spread across his face. 'You're not wasting your time,' Merlin finished. His voice was weak but to Arthur it had all the power of a choir of singers.

'Merlin? You're alright?' Arthur asked incredulously. He leaned forward and took hold of Merlin's hand where it lay on the blanket. His fingers were so cold.

'Well, I think that's a question for Gaius really but I think so, what happened?'

Arthur sighed, 'I don't know myself,' he said 'but we don't need to worry ourselves with that just now. We need you to get better.'

'I didn't realise you cared that much for me?' Merlin teased.

Arthur stood up and moved away; 'It's not you that I care about, it's…it's this room. My chambers are in such a mess, the quicker you are better the quicker you can clean them,' he said tersely before changing the subject 'I'll fetch Gaius,'

'No,' Merlin stopped him. 'Please, not just yet. It's nice to be here with you, can we just talk for a bit?'

Arthur relented and moved round to the other side of the bed. He got on top of the covers and sat next to Merlin who was still propped up on a wall of pillows. 'Fine, what do you want to talk about?' he asked.


	5. Visiting Hours

Merlin stretched. Now that he had asked for a conversation, he had no idea what to say. He cast around wildly for any topic that would keep Arthur occupied; 'What is the book about? I only heard a bit of that last chapter. You know, the part where she says that love is constant passion and without passion she has no soul? It is a bit melodramatic like you said but I would like to know what she was talking about,'

Arthur leaned forward to pick up the brown leather book and as he did so he looked at Merlin's incredibly pale face 'Seriously? That is what you want to talk about?'

Merlin nodded.

'Well, unlike you it seems, I care about your health so I will fetch Gaius and then I will tell you what has happened so far. My guess is that you are going to be in this bed for a while so we can finish the book.'

'Fine,' Merlin conceded with an over-the-top sigh. 'But come back soon, I don't like being on my own,'

Arthur leaped off the bed and strolled casually and nonchalantly out of the room. As soon as the door to his chambers snapped shut behind him a huge smile broke the surface of his lips. He raised his arms into the air and jumped around for a minute. He half ran, half skipped down the halls in delight. First he summoned Gaius and told him to go straight to Merlin. Gaius gathered his things and hurried off with bent back and shaking hands. Next Arthur went to knock on Morgana's door.

'What is it Arthur?' she called through the door.

Arthur opened the heavy, wooded door and stood in its frame beaming. 'Merlin,' he said loudly.

'What about him?' Morgana asked quickly.

'He's…he's' but that is all the Arthur could manage. Luckily, it was all that Morgana needed to comprehend and join in the beaming.

'Gwen!' Morgana shouted. 'Gwen!' she called again, while picking up her shawl and closing her drawers.

'Yes, my Lady?' was Gwen's quiet reply from the other doorway.

'Gwen, Merlin is awake,' Morgana informed her.

Gwen let out a little squeal of delight; she jumped up and down and clasped her hands. Arthur, meanwhile was still stood in the doorway feeling very awkward. Together, they all rushed up to Arthur's chambers where they burst into the room without knocking. What an unfortunate time to enter.

Gaius had brought Merlin a new change of clothes; Gaius was now working busily in the corner with his back to Merlin while Merlin changed. As Arthur, Gwen and Morgana opened the door, Merlin was just pulling on his pants. Naturally, Gwen and Morgana fell about with silent giggles and backed out of the door again looking scandalised. Unnaturally, Arthur remained staring at his manservant's naked back as though he were in a reverie. Merlin then turned around and jumped at the sight of Arthur stood openly in the doorway and Gwen and Morgana behind him looking the other way.

'Oh!' he shouted, causing Gaius to turn round. 'Oh, I am sorry Sire, I was getting changed.'

'I noticed,' Arthur said, his tongue in his cheek the whole time.

'Merlin?' Gaius murmured.

Merlin ignored him and remained staring at Arthur. 'Gaius brought me come clean clothes, he's going to see to my head and arm now,'

'Merlin?' said Gaius again.

'Merlin?' Arthur asked with a diplomatic smile on his face.

'Yes Arthur?'

'I think Gaius wants you,'

Merlin turned to Gaius, nonplussed.

'Merlin.' Said Gaius in a voice that sounded like '_for the four hundred and eleventh time' _to Merlin and made him want to roll his eyes 'You might want to put your shirt on,'

Merlin looked down, realised that he was half naked and jumped at the sight of his chest. He then proceeded to attempt to put on a shirt with one arm while the other hung limp at his side.

'Come here,' Arthur lost his patience, but kindly. He moved forward and helped Merlin to put his arm into the sleeve of his tunic.

'Thanks,' Merlin replied awkwardly.

'Get back into bed,' Arthur said quietly, looking at something just above Merlin's left shoulder. Arthur helped Merlin to get back into bed and set his pillows right again. 'Girls, you can come in now, Merlin is decent,' Arthur called out, though still sorting out Merlin's pillows.

'Thanks,' Merlin repeated. He looked up at Arthur and, for a brief moment, their eyes met and they held a steady gaze that was full of meaning and nothing; open and unreadable, sad and grateful.

'It's nothing,' Arthur whispered. The heavy door opened at that moment and Gwen and Morgana entered. Arthur moved away from the bed and sat in one of the chairs by the empty fireplace. He stared into the empty grate and put his fingers to his temples; listening to what the others were saying.

'Merlin, how are you?' Morgana asked, perching on the end of the bed and offering him a drink of water.

'I'm fine, thank you,' Merlin answered, politely 'But, I was wondering, do any of you know exactly what I did. I asked Arthur but he said he didn't see,'

'You fell down the stairs,' Morgana answered, in a tragic voice.

'You were stood at the top of the stairwell and suddenly you just went.' Gwen chimed in. 'It was almost like you had stopped breathing. You deflated, crumpled forward and tumbled down the stairs.'

'You hit your head really badly,'

'And your arm, and your hand,'

'Really?' Merlin asked, almost amazed that he could have done something so spectacular, if stupid and clumsy.

'Really,' Morgana and Gwen said together.

At that moment, Gaius came shuffling over and looked at Merlin's head. He peered into his pupils and felt his temperature. 'Mmph…it needs to be stronger,' he muttered before shuffling back to his corner. They soon heard the scrapings of a pestle and mortar, before water splashing and something being chopped very finely.

'So,' Merlin began awkwardly 'How long have I been asleep? I think Arthur got to chapter twenty two in that book?'

'Twenty Six, just finished,' Arthur added from his seat at the back of the room.

'Just…just three days' Gwen replied quietly.

'Three days?' Merlin whispered. He thought to himself that those chapters must be very short.

Morgana moved away from the bed to talk to Gaius, 'How is he, and I mean really, how is he?' she was whispering but Arthur could still tell the serious tone in her voice.

'I can't be sure, his hand and arm are healing well. He doesn't seem to have sustained any long term head injury but I simply cannot tell. If he has damaged anything it might take week, months, years to come to the surface. And even then, there might be nothing that I can do,'

'Is there anything we can do to prevent him getting a mental affliction?' She asked.

Arthur was still sat, relaxed in his chair but every nerve inside him was twisting and swooping and shuddering. What if there was something seriously wrong with Merlin? Something that Gaius couldn't cure with all the tonics in the world?

'He needs plenty of rest, a lot of water and absolutely no stress. He can **not **get agitated or upset, or even very happy.He can in no way fell any kind of extreme emotion. It could really damage him for the future.'

Morgana nodded solemnly; 'I understand,' she then turned to Arthur and gave him a look that informed him that she knew that he had heard everything and she expected him to adhere to Gaius' rules. Arthur gave the tiniest of nods and went back to his contemplation of the fire place. 'Come along Gwen, there are things for us to do. Merlin, I am so glad you are feeling better, you go back to sleep now,' and with that Morgana grabbed Gwen's hand and walked forcibly out of the room.


	6. The Start of Something Beautiful

Merlin had noticed a considerable difference in Arthur, these past few days. The first day of Merlin being conscious, Arthur was so happy and excitable. He had run out of the room and found Morgana and Gwen then he had come back and sat by the fire while Morgana and Gwen talked with him. And since then, Arthur had become so careful. Too careful. It was almost as if he thought Merlin was a porcelain doll that might break at any minute.

Merlin was making steady progress and Arthur spent as much time with him as possible. However, now it was clear that Merlin was 'over the worst' Uther was insisting that Arthur go back to his duties. Thankfully, Arthur could conduct most of them from his chambers, in the company of still bed bound Merlin. They talked late into the night and only fell asleep when the first light of day came over the hills. Every morning Merlin would wake before Arthur, he would sit where he was propped up on innumerable cushions and stroke Arthur's hair. Most of the time Arthur would fall asleep sat on the floor, leaning on Merlin's lap.

But one morning, Arthur woke before Merlin, he screwed up his eyes and turned over to look, smiling, up at Merlin. But Merlin was motionless. He was in such a deep sleep that it wasn't clear if he was breathing or not. Predictably, Arthur predicted the worst and thought Merlin was dead. Agitatedly, he cast his mind back to what they had discussed the night before, anything that could have sparked a serious, extreme or excitable emotion. No. They had talked about horses. Arthur had been saying that he knew everything to do with horses and his Quest was the best horse in the land for racing and hunting. Merlin had asked Arthur some simple questions that quickly proved that he knew more about horses than Arthur did and then said that Quest was long, tall and sleek; but he would not exchange Ebony for the world.

But there was no air coming out of Merlin, something must have jolted him into this comatose state. Arthur just stared at him, wide awake. His stomach was filled with snakes that writhed and knotted. His skin was ice cold and he shivered. His hands shook with fear. Suddenly, Merlin let out a loud and, in any other circumstances, embarrassing snore and Arthur breathed a sigh of relief.

Ten minutes later, Merlin woke to find Arthur kneeling by the side of his bed, beaming for all the world. 'You didn't half give me a fright.' He murmured 'you are such a deep sleeper I couldn't tell if you were breathing,'

There was a knock on the door, both Merlin and Arthur looked round. 'Come in,' Arthur called. In shuffled Gaius to have a look at Merlin. Arthur got up and went for a walk like he did every morning so Gaius could have a look at Merlin and Merlin could get washed and dressed.

On his return, he knocked at the door and then moved straight into his chambers. 'Arthur,' Merlin cried happily. 'Gaius says I am well enough to return to my duties.' A heart warming smile cracked open Merlin's face and became contagious. It sprouted and grew on Arthur's own lips.

'Fantastic!' he said, shutting the door behind him and heading into the room.

'But, My arm will be in a sling for a while longer.'

'Ah. So you are in fact _not _fit to do most of your duties,' Arthur smiled. It is so good to see you on your feet again. You know that cut is nearly gone altogether now. You just have a red line left.'

'That will never fade,' Gaius said from the shadows. He came shuffling into the light with a goblet of tonic for Merlin to drink. 'Don't look at it. Don't think about it. **Definitely **don't smell it. Just swallow and complain about the taste afterwards.'

Merlin nodded and did as he was told. He grimaced as the half solid slime slid down his throat. 'Eugh! Gaius I swear they get more and more disgusting with each one I swallow,' Merlin grumbled.

'They are making you better,' Gaius reprimanded.

'Merlin?'

'Yes Arthur,'

'Will you go and fetch me my sword from the armoury? I assume you can carry it with just the one hand?' Arthur grinned,

'Of course' and off he trotted like an obedient lap dog.

'Gaius. Now Merlin is well enough to do all of this, where do we stand on the whole, strong emotions, being careful with him thing?' Arthur asked anxiously. 'How sure are you that he will make it through this without any long-term damage?'

'Well Sire, all I can say is that we should not underestimate the power of Merlin's mind. I did think at one point that he might get some sort of mental affliction but I think the danger of that has passed. We would have seen symptoms by now,'

Arthur sighed. 'Thank goodness.'

'But Sire. If I were you, I would tell Merlin now rather than later,'

Arthur frowned. 'What do you mean?'

'I think you know exactly what I mean,' Gaius answered knowingly. 'Tonight Uther is visiting some friends in Inglesbere. He will not return until Friday and he takes Morgana with him. I suggest that if you want privacy, tonight would be your best option. Most of the guards will not be here which means you will not be overheard,'

'I have no idea what you are talking about' Arthur said, a little too loudly. But inside, he knew exactly what Gaius was saying. He needed to tell Merlin how he felt and tonight would be his perfect chance. This way, if Merlin rejected him (as was likely) there would not be so many people around to hear of it. Arthur swallowed and began thinking about what he was going to say.

Later, that evening, Merlin arranged for Arthur to have his dinner in his chambers. Merlin joined him. They sat at the table, enjoying their meal of pheasant. It was delicious and warmed Merlin right to his core. Once the meal was over, Arthur cleared the plates and put them on the side. Then he came back to the table and turned to Merlin. He took a deep sigh. 'Merlin,' This didn't sound good. 'There is something I have to tell you. It will not wait any longer,'

Then there was a pause.

'What is it? Arthur what is it,'

'I have been thinking about it all day and still I do not know how to say it,'

'Just say it,' Merlin sighed.

Arthur reached across the table and took Merlin's good hand which was resting idly on the table. Arthur looked into Merlin's eyes but Merlin looked at their fingers, entwined. 'Merlin, over the past weeks. No. over the past months we have grown closer together,' Merlin nodded. 'And as we got closer, I started; not just to like you. But, Merlin, I think. No. I know, that I love you,'

Arthur looked into Merlin's eyes. But Merlin just kept staring at their hands. This made Arthur feel uncomfortable and he withdrew his hand.

'No,' Merlin mumbled.

'No what?'

'Don't take your hand away,' Arthur replaced his hand within Merlin's fingers. 'Arthur. Please, don't take my silence as a rejection because it is quite the opposite. But I have no idea what to say…'

'Merlin. It has taken me weeks to even work up the courage to tell myself that I love you. Never mind you. I understand that you don't know how to put any of it into words. But can you answer me one thing?'

Merlin nodded.

'Do you love me?'

Merlin bit his lip and scrunched up his eyes. He gently squeezed Arthur's hand. 'I…I…Yes. I love you,'

Arthur let out a noise of exultant pleasure and hearing those words. 'Do you mean it?'

Merlin smiled 'I love you Arthur Pendragon. Always have. Always will,'

And with those words ringing in their ears, Merlin kissed Arthur's hand and they went to bed. Merlin in Arthur's bed and Arthur in Merlin's camp bed, but both of them confident that this was the start of something beautiful.


	7. Sun Rise

The next few weeks were a haze of beautiful days and passionate nights and our two young lovers proved how exceptionally talented they are at deceiving others. But then, Arthur's world came crumbling down around him and as a result of this Merlin's did too. There had been disagreements with the next kingdom for years, but now they had come to a head and Camelot was at war. The day it was announced was a black day for the kingdom and the gloom reached all the way into Arthur's chambers which were almost always sunny. Merlin just sat on the chair, or on the newly made bed or on the floor or the windowsill. Arthur just paced up and down. Neither of them spoke to the other and their evenings were uncomfortable.

Three weeks after the war had broken out, Merlin and Arthur were lying in bed together, staring at the ceiling. Arthur was tracing lines onto Merlin's shoulder. 'Merlin,' he murmured. 'Merlin, this war is serious. And I have to fight,' Arthur said seriously. 'I have no choice; but even if I did I would still chose to fight.'

'But why?' Merlin asked. 'it's too dangerous. You could get hurt and I couldn't have that' he winced at the thought.

Arthur thought of the torment he had gone through while Merlin was hurt and he couldn't picture his friend going through the same thing. 'I won't get hurt. I promise. But I cannot send my men to fight and remain here in safety. It is not right. We are going to lose many men, some of them my friends and…and I want to be standing beside them when they die. I want them to know that we are equals and they are all dying for a cause and a reason. And I want them to go, knowing that I love them and trust them.'

'But they aren't dying for a reason,' Merlin burst out angrily. 'This was is ridiculous. There is no point to it. Men are going to die on both sides, only for us to go back to the way we were before.'

'I know that. But my men don't. They believe that we are fighting for a better world and I want them to keep believing that until they die.'

'But what if you die?'

'That's a chance we'll have to take.'

'But I can't take that chance.' Merlin replied desperately. 'It took us so long to find each other. I can't let go of you just yet. I can't lose you. I need a little bit longer.'

'We'll use all the time we have and then, I'm afraid, we can do no more.' Merlin buried his face in Arthur's shoulder and Arthur sat there and cuddled him until they both slept.

It had been a long day fighting and Arthur was exhausted. He was cold and wet and covered in mud. His sword was stained red and he had injured his arm. Today had been a bad day; they had lost twelve men just from Arthur's group. He didn't dare check the total deaths for the day. Arthur kept his eyes on the ground as he walked back to the tents and collapsed on his wooden bed. He took his boots off and tried to dry his feet. Soon he gave up because he knew they would be wet again in the morning. Arthur had been at this outpost of the war for six months and they had taken their toll. More than anything he wanted to be in his won bed again, with his feather pillow and his fire place and his Merlin coiled up beside him.

He wasn't sure; maybe it was just because he was thinking about Merlin, but Arthur could have sworn he just heard a very distinctive voice. He was sure he recognised those ungainly footsteps. He got up eagerly and hurried to the entrance to his tent without putting his boots back on. It wasn't Merlin he had heard. It was a horse and cart. Arthur went back to his bed dejectedly.

But as he sat down he realised somebody stood in the shadows. 'Show yourself' he shouted. And who was it that stepped out of the darkness? Why Merlin of course!

'Merlin?' Arthur asked uncertainly.

Merlin's smile grew and brightened up the grey, miserable day.

'Merlin!' Arthur shouted and ran at his boyfriend. 'I've missed you so much!' he whispered into Merlin's neck as he pulled Merlin first into a hug then over to the bed and onto it.

'Oh Arthur. You can't imagine how horrible life is in the castle without you,' Merlin sighed.

'Well, we are together again now,' Arthur comforted him. Merlin nodded and snuggled into him. For the rest of the night, Arthur slept soundly with Merlin beside him. Merlin's were wide open through the dark hours. He was here for one reason and one reason only. When the sun rose it would bring with it the day that Arthur would die and Merlin was going to die with him.

When dawn came it cast pale, ghostly shadows on Merlin's face, he got out of bed and left the tent, bare foot. He wandered the two hundred yards from the tent to the battle field. The mud was stained red with blood and he didn't like the feel of it under his feet. He felt the morning wind on his face for the last time and listened to the lark singing in a nearby tree.

When he arrived back at the tent Arthur was awake and getting dressed. He went straight up to him and rested his hands on Arthur's waist; kissing his neck and shoulder and letting silent tears leave his eyes. Arthur was flummoxed. 'Merlin what is the matter?' he asked.

But Merlin only shook his head 'Please don't ask me, just stay near me,' Arthur nodded and wrapped his arms around Merlin, cradling his head. 'I'm going into battle with you,' Merlin mumbled into Arthur's shoulder.

'No you are not,' Arthur insisted 'You are far too precious to lose,'

'So are you,' Merlin whispered but Arthur didn't pick up the full meaning of these words. 'Arthur I am going into battle with you and that is final,' Arthur looked into Merlin's defiant eyes and understood that he had no say in this matter at all. It was comforting in a way to know that Merlin cared that much about him.

The battle was bloody and violent. Arthur kept his eyes constantly checking to see where Merlin was and how he was fairing in the fight. It was because of his distraction that he suddenly found two men attacking him at the same time. Somehow he managed to deflect two swords but eventually it was too much for him and he began to lose. Merlin noticed and came running as fast as possible. Arthur was backing away from the two blades pointing at his chest. Merlin was running through spells in his mind. Suddenly, Arthur tripped and landed heavily on his back. He looked to see what he had landed on; a body.

Very quickly, he scrambled to his knees and moved away from the poor man. But now he had two blades at his throat. Arthur froze. His breathing came thick and fast. Merlin came tearing into the scene. He took on one of the two men and managed to manoeuvre himself so he was in front of Arthur. Merlin was putting up such a good fight but…but he hadn't noticed the other man who had drawn his sword back and was aiming at Merlin's chest. In less than a second, Arthur leapt forward and pulled Merlin close to his chest again. But, instead of the blade missing Merlin, it drove straight through him and was only stopped by Arthur's chainmail.

But Merlin didn't become limp and collapse to the ground as expected. He began to emanate light; he glowed a beautiful gold colour and rose to the air. Arthur watched in amazement as his lover ascended, before crashing to the ground and going limp and cold.

'Merlin…' Arthur whispered, devastated. Suddenly, the blade was back at Arthur's neck but he didn't resist. 'Go on then. Do it! Kill Arthur Pendragon! You already took my love, now take my life,' he spat as he surrendered.

The legend of Merlin and Arthur had been distorted many times; but it is universally agreed that they are two sides of the same coin and once cannot exist without the other. In the same way that one cannot die without the other.


End file.
